:: Saturday, November 19, 2005 ::

Silver blue and frozen silence

I've been thinking that winter had arrived here in the Czech Republic, as temperatures have been dropping and this past week I had to update my suede jacket for chilly/gettin' cold weather to my big ski jacket/parka for it's-colder-than-a-three-tongued-horny-toad-out-here weather. But perhaps I was just jumping the gun. After all, it's not even Thanksgiving yet!

But what should I find when I woke up bright and early this morning? Nothing other than snow! On the ground! The weather had called for flurries, but flurries don't usually leave a deposit a fluffy white flakes on the ground. Usually, they're just fluffy white flakes blowing around in the air. Yet here they were. On the ground. Before Thanksgiving. It didn't even snow in Sweden last year until January, and I'm quite sure it hasn't snowed in Virginia yet! I even took a few pictures to share with everyone the winter wonderland of the Opatov panelak-land, from the three different vistas of my flat.

the back

the side

the front

So it seems I wasn't jumping the gun after all. I guess now it's time to break out the hats and mittens and boots, too. But winter's here. With snow! Woo-hoo!

Happy Winter, everybody!

:: posted by Rob 11:48 AM [+] :: 2 comments
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Schedule is pronounced 'shed-yool'

Because there may be some interest, I've decided to regale you with information about my current schedule as an English teacher here in Prague. The first thing you should know is that I don't teach in a classroom - at least 80% of language teaching here in Prague is in-company, which means teachers go to various businesses to teach their students at their work, and I am no exception. It also means that the majority of classes are either very early in the morning, before work starts, or in the evening, after normal working hours. So the hours aren't the best, but hey, since when were jobs perfect?

So let's look at a typical week for Rob, shall we? Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride!

My week starts on the weekend, when I spend either Saturday or Sunday planning my lessons for the coming week. In reality, this means I sit down Sunday afternoon or evening and spend the rest of the night rushing to get all my lessons planned! Time management has never been one of my strong suits...

Monday mornings, I get up at oh dark thirty, to get to the Metro by 6:30, so I can get to my first class at 7:30. This is at the tax law firm of Vorlíčková & Leitner. I teach 2 lessons and finish at 9:00, then usually head to Glossa to make photocopies and get all my materials together for the week's classes. I'm usually home by noon or so, and have the rest of the day free, which is quite nice. Monday evenings, however, seem to be popular times for other teachers not to want to teach, and so I frequently pick up substitutions during these times for a few extra crowns here and there.

Tuesdays, I get to sleep a little later, as I don't have to be at class until 9:00. I teach 3 lessons at VŠCR, or Vysoká škola cestovního ruchu, aka the University of Tourism until 11:30. Then it's back home for a couple of hours before I head out to Ringier, a newspaper publishing company, for 2 lessons from 2:30 to 4:00. Then I wander around for an hour and a half waiting for my last class of the day from 5:30 to 7:00. This is a 2-lesson conversation course at GTS, a telecom company, and I teach it Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights. At least 2/3 of the time, no one shows up for these classes. On the good side, the classes can't be cancelled, so I get paid for the class whether or not anybody shows up. On the bad side, I still have to spend about two and a half hours traveling round-trip there and waiting for students before I can leave.

On Wednesdays, I have another early class from 7:30 to 9:00, 2 lessons for GTS again, but at a different location and with different people. Then the whole rest of the day is free until 5:30, when I return to my conversation class at GTS, assuming any students show up.

Thursdays I'm up at 5:30 again, as I have to be at the Hradčanská metro station at 7:30 to catch my car pool to Rakovník, a town 60 km west of Prague, about an hour's drive away. I ride there with two other Czech teachers of English, and we teach at the Procter & Gamble plant there. I have 4 lessons at P&G, from 8:55 to 12:00, but my fellow teachers teach there all day. Rather than wait all day for them, I instead wait about an hour at the bus station for a bus back to Prague, which takes another hour or so. It takes a big chunk of my day, and I only get paid for the actual lessons I teach, but fortunately my school pays me an extra 400 crowns to cover travel costs and the inconvenience of teaching outside of Prague. At 5:30, it's back to my last GTS class of the week. If no one has showed up on Tuesday or Wednesday, chances are that someone will be there this night. Similarly, if I've had students on both Tuesday and Wednesday, chances are no one will show up on Thursday. I have yet to have a week where all three days have been cancelled.

Thursday night is also pub night for students, teachers, and former trainees of Oxford TEFL, my teaching certification school. I don't get to see much of my former TEFL classmates, as we're all busy teaching, so it's nice to be able to get together at the Konvikt pub near the school once a week to catch up and also meet the new people in the program.

And finally, we come to Friday. First up, it's back to the law firm of Vorlíčková & Leitner for an hour (or 1.33 lessons) of class from 8:00 to 9:00. Next up is a 2-lesson individual conversation class with a very nice woman at Eurotel, another telecom company, from 11:30 to 1:00. Then it's a quick jaunt on the Metro to get to my Czech language course from 1:30 to 2:30. One of the perks of teaching for Glossa is that all native English speaking teachers get free Czech lessons. I've only had three lessons so far, but I hope I'll be able to start actually talking in Czech soon!

And that, friends and neighbors, is a week in the life of Rob. Constantly running all over Prague (and sometimes beyond), trying to find various offices and buildings, trying to make Czech-speaking receptionists understand who you are and why you're there, and then hoping for students to show up so that all of this wasn't for nothing. It's a hard life, but someone's gotta do it. And if the logistics and travel get a little annoying at times, I actually quite enjoy the teaching itself.

Now if I could just finally get my first paycheck...

:: posted by Rob 10:08 AM [+] :: 1 comments
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It's your birthday, it's your special day

Well, maybe not your birthday, but yesterday was my Polka dot's birthday. I had a class early in the morning, but I was able to come back home with flowers and, since she is currently "between jobs," spend the rest of the afternoon with her. In the evening, we ventured into the center of Prague to Red Fish, a highly-recommended sushi restaurant. And though it was a bit pricy (what with the Czech Republic being a landlocked country and all), it was well worth it. We had quite a large sampling of various nigiri and maki, enough to give my Polka dot a good idea of what different kinds of sushi there are, this being her first time ever having sushi. It was also her first time using chopsticks, and she did amazingly well, only dropping things occasionally and never asking for a fork. And afterwards, we headed to the traditional Czech restaurant McDonald's for some good ol' soft serve ice cream.

And finally, to top it all off, she had an interview today and was immediately offered a job which she starts this Thursday. It seems good things come in packages.

So here's a shout-out and a hearty congratulations to her. And keep your fingers crossed for her first day!

:: posted by Rob 10:00 PM [+] :: 2 comments
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We finally found you, Katori!

For those of you who love Japan, martial arts movies, or sadly, even the Power Rangers (and who doesn't?), all mixed with a little comedy plus a sprinkling of subtitles, I present: Rolling Bomber Special!!!!!1

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want your very own Army of Evil to help you destroy the Earth and fight the Earth Defender Freshmen!.

And after you're done watching that, hop on the Sudoku bandwagon at Web Sudoku. It's the craze that's sweeping the nation! (Also added to the link list on the left side, waaaaaaaaay down at the bottom.)

:: posted by Rob 12:28 PM [+] :: 3 comments
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Still under the gun of Attila the Hun with a cinnamon bun

For those that have not yet heard the news (in no small part due to the fact that I haven't mentioned it in my blog yet), I have finally found a job here in Prague. And as an English teacher, no less! I now work for a language school called Glossa, one of the larger language schools in Prague, employing over 120 teachers! So far, it hasn't been too bad.

I started last Tuesday, with about 13 teaching hours, and am slowly adding more hours to become full-time. Of course, the hours suck. Most of my teaching is in-company work, where I go to a business and teach classes to their employees. As these companies don't want their employees studying English when they should be working, most classes are either scheduled early in the morning (say, 7:30-9:00 am) or in the late afternoon/evening (say 5:30-7:00 pm). So far, not so much a fan of getting up at 0-dark thirty, but that's the way it goes.

The logistics are sometimes a nightmare, as well. Different metro stations, different tram lines, finding the building, trying to communicate to Czech-only-speaking receptionists why I'm there, what classroom or office I'm teaching in, etc. On the plus side, I do get to see a lot of Prague I might not otherwise see, but the travel time from Opatov, where I live, can be a bit much.

But lest you think I hate this job, the teaching itself is actually quite nice. Lesson planning takes up a bit of my off time, but I try to get it all done on the weekend so I have my free time free during the week. And this week, I'm looking forward to the national holiday on Friday, which means I don't have to work. Yay!

So I'm plugging along, and eagerly awaiting my first paycheck, which I'll get in the middle of November. Of course, it will only be for these last two weeks of October, so I still have to wait for December to get my first full paycheck. Until then, I see a lot of ramen noodles in my future. Mmm, tasty.

Me being me, of course, my soul isn't exactly jumping for joy at the fact that I'm working again (a one-year extended study-vacation in Sweden will do that to you, I guess), but my wallet assures me that it's feeling much less stressed these days. I guess I'll take the little victories wherever I can find them.

:: posted by Rob 10:16 AM [+] :: 0 comments
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Slouching towards Bethlehem

Another in a long line of online surveys and tests, you can now find out Which Fantasy/Sci Fi Character Are You?

I seem to be G'Kar.

Ceaselessly struggling for a well-deserved redemption, you carefully arrange your alliances and energies.

There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom.

I always kinda liked him, and how apropos, as my Polka dot and I are currently wending our way through all five seasons of the Babylon 5.

It's more fun than a barrel full of Vorlons.

:: posted by Rob 11:32 AM [+] :: 0 comments
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Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose

From Holly Lisle's Pocket Full of Words, an interesting endeavor:

1. Delve into your blog archive.

2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).

3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).

4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. Ponder it for meaning, subtext or hidden agendas...

Here's mine:

I truly cannot understand how the "citizens" (and those quotation marks are there for a reason) of this country are so blind to what's going on.

That's from January 15, 2004, a post entitled Spelling America with a "K" now, are we?

Things have changed. Then, I was happily* living in Northern VA and working for Benetton. Since then, I've gone to Sweden, got a Master's degree, and have since come to Prague and am trying to make it as an English teacher. And yet back home, it seems that things are still the same. A fact that can be either refreshing and comforting, or frightening and sad, depending on your POV.

The more things change, the more they stay the same, indeed.

* And if you believe that, I've got a nice bridge in Brooklyn you might be interested in...

:: posted by Rob 10:57 AM [+] :: 5 comments
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I'll take some fries with that shake

Courtesy of Drink at Work, I present...

...an upgrade of a popular advertising image...

...a beloved icon revered by children worldwide...

Ladies and gentlemen, Ronald McDonald!

In Japan, at least.

And if that's not enough to tickle your fancy, try out the The Flash Mind Reader.
It's amazing, it's stupendous, it will blow your mind.
Thrill to the mind-boggling power that is the Internet.

And finally, because I can (and because it's kinda cool):

Your Birthdate: March 30

Your birthday on the 30th day of the month shows individual self-expression is necessary for your happiness. You tend to have a good way of expressing yourself with words, certainly in a manner that is clear and understandable. You have a good chance of success in fields requiring skill with words. You can be very dramatic in your presentation and you may be a good actor or a natural mimic. You have a vivid imagination that can assist you in becoming a good writer or story-teller. Strong in your opinions, you always tend to think you are on the right side of an issue. There may be a tendency to scatter your energies and have a lot of loose ends in your work. You may have significant artistic talent and be very creative.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

:: posted by Rob 2:42 PM [+] :: 0 comments
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Good King Wenceslas looked out

Statue of St. Wenceslas on Wenceslas Square, with the National Museum in the background

Today is the feast day of St. Wenceslas, also known as Czech State Day, a national holiday here in the Czech Republic, as St. Wenceslas is the patron saint of Bohemia, or the Czech Republic, or something like that. It's good, because it means my Polka dot has the day off, but it's bad, because I don't have any interviews either, and virtually everything is closed.

I thought I had an interview yesterday, but due to a communications snafu, the school's Director of Studies had already left, so no interview. But since I looked like a bedraggled wet dog (due to being caught in a rainstorm without an umbrella as I left the Metro station), maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all. In any case, I re-scheduled my interview for tomorrow morning, and so far I have two more interviews scheduled for Thursday and Friday.

Today seems like it's going to be a laying-around-the-house day, perhaps with some cleaning and decorating thrown in. And this evening, we're meeting some of our friends from Sweden who are here in Prague now - a mini-reunion of sorts.

And finally, square melons: genetic engineering gone wrong, or handy stackable fruit product?

You be the judge.

:: posted by Rob 10:50 AM [+] :: 0 comments
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Přestup na linku C

If you've noticed a few changes, you're right! I changed the webcam picture at the top to one in Prague, specifically one showing Staromětské náměstí, the Old Town Square. I also threw in a pic of Prague's coat of arms. And below that, I added a new category to the links on the side, Prague Links, which (so far) includes Prague weather, a Prague map, and some general information about Prague, as well.

In other news, this past weekend, we went to Vyšehrad, a rocky outcrop overlooking the Vltava that is one of the oldest parts of the city. Legend says that it was the first seat of Czech royalty, and where Princess Libuše, the founder of the first Czech dynasty, is said to have prophesied the future glory of Prague. Yesterday, I sent out a host of resumes in the first step of my search for the ol' jobby-job, and capped off the evening by cooking up some guláš (you probably know it as goulash), which although Hungarian, is quite popular here in the Czech Republic, especially when served with knedlíky, or Czech bread dumplings. Overall, it was delicious, and quite a successful foray into Czech cooking for my first attempt, if I do say so myself.

My Polka dot at Vyšehrad

:: posted by Rob 9:49 AM [+] :: 2 comments
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Spiral Architect

Oh, the wonder and contrast that is Prague. Below is Konviktská, the charming street where my teacher training school is located in the Old Town, with its cobblestone streets and old baroque buildings:


including the courtyard where the school is actually located:


Now compare those with Radimovická, the street where I live on the outskirts of the city in my beuatiful old communist-era concrete apartment block:


(You can see my room in the lower right-hand corner, far right, 3rd floor.)

At least the rent is cheap, if the surroundings aren't quite as beautiful as in the center.

:: posted by Rob 3:15 PM [+] :: 0 comments
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Thus endeth the lesson

And just like that, my teacher training course is over. It's amazing how fast a month passes. At the beginning, it seemed like it would take forever, and now, suddenly, it's all finished. Wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am.

So what next?

Finding a job. The ol' J-O-B. Can you feel my excitement radiating through the screen? I suppose it will be good, having a job, teaching the English, getting a paycheck again - but it's been over a year since I last worked. A nice, long, work-free vacation. And since my last job was, as most of my jobs have seemed to be, a experience in hellfire and damnation, I'm (understandably, I think) hesitant about reentering the ranks of the proletariat.

But a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, I guess. So Monday I'll be sending out the resumes, hopefully going to some interviews, and maybe even picking up some teaching hours. One of my friends from the course already has a job starting Monday. It sounds like a pretty good company to work for - with luck, they'll pick me for an interview and then, perhaps even hire me.

This weekend, however, is finally tourist time! We're going to a gallery featuring an exhibition of photos of communist-era store windows, then heading to the Mucha Museum and perhaps the Museum of Communism. Afterwards, we're meeting my friends from the TEFL program for Afghan food. And tomorrow, it's off for a stroll through Vysehrad, an old castle/park area overlooking the Vltava, and quite a pretty sight according to my Polka dot, who claims it as her most favorite place in Prague.

:: posted by Rob 8:57 AM [+] :: 0 comments
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Pilgrim's Prague-ress

Ahoj from the lands of Bohemia and Moravia!

Yes, I'm finally back online after a longer time than I had planned, so my apologies to all who have been eagerly awaiting my next post for some news, and to those who may have thought I had fallen off the face of the earth.

I am in Prague now (in the suburbs of Prague 11, actually, somewhere between Chodov and Opatov) and indeed have been for 24 days now. Sadly, I just got internet at home this past week, and I have been so busy that I really haven't had time to send out emails or update my blog until now.

My teacher training course is going well, but it's very intensive. For the past three weeks, 12-hour days have not been uncommon, with an additional 2-3 hours of homework on top of that. Weekends haven't been much better: no classes, but plenty of assignments and lesson plans to work on. I've been in Prague for almost a month now, and besides wandering around the Old Town a couple of days before my program started, and quick trips to Karlstein Castle and the Prague Zoo, I haven't been able to be a tourist at all. Fortunately, there's only one week left in the program, so I hope to be able to get out more and see some sights.

Prague is very nice, and very beautiful, as they all say, but of course there are hordes of tourists everywhere. I've even successfully given directions to poor, lost tourists, so apparently I've become a real Praguer already! Out in the burbs where I live, of course, it's not quite as beautiful. I have a flat (US: apartment) in a nice gray communist tower block, complete with tiny, rickety lift (US: elevator) scrawled with graffiti and painted a delightfully horrid 70s shade of orange. But my Polka dot and I have already been to IKEA to spruce the place up a little bit, and once we both are pulling in steady salaries, we hope to be able to do more.

Opatov's not so bad, though. It's a 5-10 minute walk to the Metro station (or you can take a bus if the weather is bad), and then another 20 minutes on the Metro to get to the center. I'm looking forward to being a tourist again after next week.

Of course, then the job hunting starts. Ugh. Wish me luck...

So goodbye for now, and start checking back again - I should be updating more frequently now that I have internet and (hopefully) time.

:: posted by Rob 9:57 AM [+] :: 0 comments
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Turn and face the strange

I've been meaning to do this post for at least a week now, but I've kept putting it off. But time marches ever onward, so here goes. It is time for me to leave Sweden, and my thoughts and emotions are all a-jumble.

I've had a whirlwind year here, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. Overall, my Master's program was interesting, if frustrating at times, but never more than I could handle, and I did quite well in it, too. I got to live in a beautiful, friendly country for a year, through all its seasons (from the long winter to the way-too-short two-week summer!), and visit several different regions within it. I also got to visit four other countries (from the Czech Republic and Poland to Finland and Estonia), and meet many wonderful friends from even farther afield. And of course, I met my very own Polka dot here too.

It's been a dream come true for me, and I think the past year has been one of the happiest in my whole life. Sure, it was hard leaving all my friends and family behind in the States (although some of them moved on themselves in the past year, perhaps making less sorrow of the parting), but I made new friends here, and it was something I felt I needed to do. I was very unhappy with my life in northern Virginia, and I came to Sweden looking for something else: I'm not sure exactly what, but maybe it was a fresh start, maybe a renewal, a recharge of my spiritual batteries, or maybe just to experience new places, people, and things. And whatever it was, I think I found it, or it found me.

So now that I'm leaving, what does it mean to me now? How do I feel? Aye, there's the rub. I'm sad to go, most definitely. I really do love it here. I've found Sweden to be more of a home to me than the U.S. has been for a number of years. And yet...

In the past couple of weeks, I finally finished my Master's program, writing my thesis and successfully defending it (at least I think so - I still haven't gotten my grade). I got to see all my friends again, coming back for their defenses after going home for the summer. Summer in Falun had been a bit boring, although my parents visited me for a few weeks and a few of my friends stayed in Sweden for the summer like me, but suddenly it was just like it had always been, with everyone back and partying and studying and so on.

But then everyone left again. Even the ones who had stayed all summer. And this time, I knew they wouldn't be back in a few months. We had all spent our time here, and were now parting ways, going back to our respective home countries, to continue studies, find a job, or whatever. Except me. I wasn't going back home (I don't even really consider there to be a home for me to go back to anymore), and I was staying in Sweden a little bit longer before I left. And as Britsen once more emptied, this time for good (at least as far as we're all concerned), I found myself with conflicting feelings.

With everyone gone, I discovered I no longer really wanted to stay in Sweden any more. I mean, I would still like to live in Sweden, but I've already made plans to go elsewhere. Everything and everyone I care about is now somewhere else, and being all alone in Sweden wasn't as attractive as it was a year ago.

But at the same time, I'm nervous and worried about the future. Close friends and family know how much I fear change, and this time around is no different. But wait, wasn't moving to Sweden in the first place a big change? you may ask. Yes it was, of course, but I was leaving somewhere I didn't want to be, where I wasn't happy, for someplace I did want to be where I thought I could be happy. And I've never felt that way about Sweden. My reasons for leaving have everything to do with continuing to be happy and experiencing new things and nothing to do with not wanting to be here.

The Czech Republic is new to me, terra incognita. I have nothing lined up except a one-month teacher training program. What happens after that? Will I find a job? Will I actually be able to get up in front of a class and teach them English as if I actually know what I'm doing? Will I be happy there too? Will I be able to learn Czech, or will I bumble about in a strange country where no one speaks my language? I don't know. And I fear uncertainty even more than I fear change.

On the positive side, my Polka dot is already waiting for me in our new flat in Prague, and we'll be living with a Czech friend from the program here and her boyfriend. And at least two other friends from our program will be in Prague as well, for a few months at least, and the distances in Europe mean that a lot more of our friends won't be so far away at all. Of course, saying and doing are two completely different things, but I hope I haven't seen the last of many of my new friends here.

So that's where I am now. Sad to leave Sweden, but ready for now, eager to meet new challenges in Prague, but a little afraid of them too. I don't know how long I'll be there, or what I'll end up doing. My future, it seems, will be forever cloudy to me, with no more than a year or so ahead planned out. But if I stay happy, and don't settle for contentment, I guess I can live with that.

"Contentment is always bought at the price of one's liberty: that is what distinguishes it from happiness."
--Kenneth Tynan

Tomorrow, I officially move out of my room in Britsen, and Wednesday I leave Falun and Sweden for Prague and the Czech Republic. I would like to come back to Sweden again; I'm ready to leave for now, but not for good. I love this new country too much. But then again, I may find Prague to be even more of a home to me. Only time will tell.

That being said, I'll be away from the internet for a while. I'm not sure when I'll have internet access again in Prague, so this space will not updated for a few weeks at least. But check back, because I will update from Prague as soon as I have the chance. And hopefully I'll have email access at my school until I get internet hooked up at home, so I won't be completely incommunicado.

So to all my friends and family around the world, please keep in touch, wherever you and I might be.

And finally, farewell to all the friends I met in Sweden, and to Sweden itself. Farewell, but not goodbye. You will see me again.


Final Swedish word of the day: adjö, which means "farewell"

:: posted by Rob 10:38 AM [+] :: 2 comments
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Shave and a haircut, two bits

In a recent fit of lunacy (perhaps under the influence of my Polka dot), I shaved off the last vestiges of my goatee, exposing my chin to the light of day for the first time in decades (or at least years). Having subsequently regained my senses, it is now growing back. But for those of you who didn't have the pleasure of actually seeing me for my two or three beardless days, and for those of you who always bemoan the fact that you can't see my chin or that I'm hiding something (that means you, Mom), I present the following picture (courtesy of my Polka dot). Enjoy it while you can, because never shall it be seen again.



Swedish word of the day: skägg, which means "beard"

:: posted by Rob 10:29 AM [+] :: 1 comments
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Gotta wear shades

I have finally finished and handed in my offical Master's Thesis entitled, A New American Socialism: Introducing Social Democracy through Social Credit. Woo-hoo! Months and months of work, all finished! I still have to defend it at the end of next week, but for all intents and purposes, I have completed my Master's program. And this degree will probably do about as much for me as my History bachelor's. ;)

In related news, I have also been officially accepted into the teaching certification program at the Oxford TEFL school in Prague starting August 29. Now I just need to find an airplane ticket, give notice that I'm leaving my student room in Falun, pack up my stuff, figure out how to ship it there, etc., etc.

The future is moving right along!

Swedish word of the day: slut, which means "done," "finished"
Get your mind out of the gutter!

:: posted by Rob 3:16 PM [+] :: 1 comments
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Driving down the 101

Tomorrow my sister and brother-in-law, Mallory and Art, leave their old life and long-inhabited home in the teeming streets of the Big Apple on an epic cross-country road trip to a new life in a new home in the sunlit climes of the Golden State.

So I'd like to take this opportunity, from my current residence far across the Sea of Atlas, to wish them Bon Voyage and Happy Trails on their journey across the Great Divide and from sea to shining sea.

Good luck, safe journeys, and best wishes for y'all in your new home!

:: posted by Rob 5:51 PM [+] :: 0 comments
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Welcome my son, Welcome to The Machine

There's an interesting article in the current issue of Wired Magazine called We Are the Web that looks at the development of the world wide web/internet in the 10 years since the IPO of Netscape, an event that arguably opened up the internet for the widespread use that we all enjoy today. It looks at what people then thought the internet would become, and what it has actually developed into. The author, Kevin Kelly, then goes on to present his views of what the internet will become in the next 10 years:

[The Web will be] the OS for a megacomputer that encompasses the Internet, all its services, all peripheral chips and affiliated devices from scanners to satellites, and the billions of human minds entangled in this global network. This gargantuan Machine already exists in a primitive form. In the coming decade, it will evolve into an integral extension not only of our senses and bodies but our minds.
....
This planet-sized computer is comparable in complexity to a human brain. Both the brain and the Web have hundreds of billions of neurons (or Web pages). Each biological neuron sprouts synaptic links to thousands of other neurons, while each Web page branches into dozens of hyperlinks. That adds up to a trillion "synapses" between the static pages on the Web. The human brain has about 100 times that number - but brains are not doubling in size every few years. The Machine is.
....
What will most surprise us is how dependent we will be on what the Machine knows - about us and about what we want to know. We already find it easier to Google something a second or third time rather than remember it ourselves. The more we teach this megacomputer, the more it will assume responsibility for our knowing. It will become our memory. Then it will become our identity. In 2015 many people, when divorced from the Machine, won't feel like themselves - as if they'd had a lobotomy.

Kelly heralds this as a watershed moment in history, one that we are present for at its very beginning. A bold new future for mankind, as it were. But am I the only one who finds this projected future a little bit creepy? A vast Machine that encompasses every aspect of our daily lives, "which penetrates our lives to such a degree that it becomes essential to our identity"? Visions of The Matrix and The Terminator immediately spring to mind.

Yes, the internet is a wonderful and amazing tool. I can barely remember life without it. But it's always been a tool, nothing more. And the idea that this tool could become The Machine, an artificial intelligence more powerful than the human brain, so vast that humanity itself is subsumed beneath its inhuman might, scares the living bejeesus out of me. If this were to happen, what would become of humanity? Would we even be human anymore?

The full article can be found here. I strongly recommend reading the whole thing. Food for thought, indeed.

:: posted by Rob 10:34 AM [+] :: 3 comments
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Right place at the wrong time

So just as I'm preparing to leave Sweden for the mean streets of Prague, I discover that:

You Should Learn Swedish

Fantastisk! You're laid back about learning a language - and about life in general. Peaceful, beautiful Sweden is ideal for you... And you won't even have to speak perfect Swedish to get around!

What Language Should You Learn?

You know, if I had known this a year ago, I would have tried harder to learn Swedish over the past year. Or, I would have stayed at the hellhole that was the United Colors of Benetton warehouse a year longer and not come to Sweden until this year.

Yeah, right. And if you believe that, there's this really nice bridge in Brooklyn I can sell you. Great property value, nice neighborhood, good schools.

But still, you'd think it could have thrown out Czech or Polish for me to learn!
Whatever.

:: posted by Rob 6:53 PM [+] :: 0 comments
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Oh waiter, bring me my Czech soon

I have taken the first step towards my new life in the Czech Republic by applying to the Oxford TEFL school in Prague to get my Trinity TEFL certificate to teach English. I think it's the best step to enhance my employability here in Europe (and more specifically, in Prague) beyond my native speaking ability.

Hopefully, I'll have a telephone interview in a few days, and be accepted into the program which starts August 29. Then it will be four fun-filled weeks of intensive teacher training, after which, again hopefully, I'll actually find a job as an English teacher in Prague.

So wish me luck!

:: posted by Rob 6:44 PM [+] :: 3 comments
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And the sky full of stars

Woo-hoo!!!!

I have finally finished the first draft of my Master's Thesis!

The full deal isn't actually due until August 3, but my supervisor wanted to see a first draft this week. I still have to double-check the structure and "flow" of the paper, and write an appendix that showcases an exercise/economic model that demonstrates the production/consumption cycle and highlights the inadequacies of our current "orthodox" economic system, but other than that, I'm a steak on the grill, baby!* Provided that my supervisor doesn't have any major changes for me to make in the next two weeks, that is. (cross fingers)

In any case, it is a huge weight off my shoulders. I'm free, I tell you. "I am not a number! I am a free man!"

I think I should get some sleep now, and maybe something to eat, both of which have been severely lacking the past few days, as I've hardly dreamed or eaten anything but Social Credit and frame analysis.

Fortunately, I had The Man In Black to keep me sane. Drive On, Johnny. Drive on.

*As in done. Well done. Stick a fork in me, etc. etc.

:: posted by Rob 4:08 PM [+] :: 1 comments
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Doubloons and Philosopher Stones

I've found a few more funny blog tests. First up, What's Your Pirate Name?

My pirate name is:

Captain Roger Flint

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Then there's Who Were You in a Past Life? I actually discovered two past lives:

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Diseased Alchemist. Where You Lived: Germany. How You Died: Suicide.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

In a Past Life...

You Were: An Albino Spice Merchant. Where You Lived: Ukraine. How You Died: Hung for treason.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Captain Roger Flint, diseased albino spice trader, at your service. Past lives just don't get any better than that.

:: posted by Rob 10:33 AM [+] :: 0 comments
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Rockets' Red Glare Redux

In honor of the the recent Fourth of July holiday and as substitute for the lack of fireworks at my own Independence Day celebrations here in Sweden (although a friend did bring sparklers, so it wasn't a total wash), I'm posting the following selection from Drink at Work, the blog of Francesco Marciuliano, writer of syndicated comic Sally Forth as well as his own webcomic Medium Large.

So without further ado, I present The Drink at Work.com Childhood Guide to Celebrating Independence Day:

In a world where children are routinely discouraged from setting off fireworks on Independence Day, going trick-or-treating on Halloween or even tackling their own wild turkey on Thanksgiving, we at Drink at Work.com would like to recall a less anxious era when explosives were well within the reach and rights of those who had yet to achieve full motor skills. From sparklers to M-80s, the following guide to consumer incendiary devices is our way of celebrating those glory days when every small boy or girl could let freedom ring so loud that it left them with a lifelong case of tinnitus.

Sparkler: Much like candy cigarettes were once an adorable towhead's first awkward steps toward an adult lung biopsy, the equally harmless sparkler once started a child on the path that could eventually lead to firecrackers. Then M-80s. Then having to count to ten by using the same hand twice. That said, as fireworks, sparklers were only amusing if you had ever wondered what a corn dog would be like if it were made of magnesium. Limited in firepower, lacking in risk and wanting in unbridled machismo, the sparkler lent itself to only three forms of entertainment:

1. Pretending the sparkler was a light saber as you engaged in epic duels while imitating Darth Vader's voice in a prepubescent voice so ludicrously high it made Neil Sedaka sound like Barry White.
2. Using the sparkler to quickly scrawl some incandescent doggerel in the air, such as "This sparkler sucks."
3. Making believe the sparkler was Tinkerbell burning up upon reentry.

...

So the next time you say to a child "Why use a sparkler when we have a perfectly good flashlight you can wave?" or "You know what's really fun? Reading about fireworks!" think back to the carefree Independence Day celebrations of your youth. Then give your kid a crate of cherry bombs and a Zippo lighter, point them in the direction of your neighbor's yard and say, "Knock yourself out. I'll call you when burgers are ready."

Full story can be found here. Read the whole thing - I laughed my ass off!

:: posted by Rob 12:09 PM [+] :: 0 comments
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And the rockets' red glare

A hearty happy Independence Day to everyone (or as we tend to call it, the Fourth of July)! Of course, here in Sweden, there is no such animal, but I did get an SMS from my Polka dot this morning wishing me a happy Independence Day, which I thought was quite sweet. :) And I'm planning on celebrating anyways by roping a few Poles and Germans and other sundry nationalities into joining me at a campfire/barbeque/bonfire down by the lake this evening. Unfortunately, there won't be any fireworks (I should have planned ahead and bought some on Walpurgis Night, but my future-planning skills are sadly underdeveloped) but there should be some hot dogs and beer, and you get any more American than that!

Now it's no secret that my feelings for America run somewhat against the mainstream, but I still feel all warm and mushy inside on our biggest hoiday, because I do respect the ideals that America was built on and represents, if not necessarily the way it has subsequently developed (and I don't mean just politically). And I miss the annual tradition of seeing family at the Summer Palace too, but with the magic of Skype I've at least been able to talk to them. Which of course, only made me miss being there more...

And in honor of this great day, I found an interesting quiz to find out just How American Are You? Turns out I'm not so un-American as I thought.

You Are 46% American

America: You don't love it or want to leave it. But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over. On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead... And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!

How American Are You?

So in any case, here's to you and yours, have a good, safe and fun Fourth. Wish I could be there to celebrate with ya!

:: posted by Rob 11:38 AM [+] :: 0 comments
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The Farm will be with you...always

Ham Solo and Chewbroccoli

Thrill to the adventures of Cuke Skywalker, Ham Solo, and Princess Lettuce in Store Wars! It's funny and educational!

:: posted by Rob 10:04 AM [+] :: 1 comments
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Hawaiian Sup'pa Man

I frequently have asked myself, "If I were a god, what kind of god would I be? And if I were that kind of god, which god would I be?" Long have I pondered such questions, but I am pleased to report I now have an answer! I would be a trickster. And what trickster would I be?

I Am Maui

You love life and you're determined to live to the fullest. You use your bag of tricks to protect those you care about and to teach those who mess with you and yours a lesson, but you're not unreasonable. You're a tinkerer and an inventor, you love to build stuff. You enjoy hanging out with good friends or being out in nature. Like the Hawaiian Trickster Maui, your amiable nature fools those who think you're an easy target. You're not.

Which Trickster Are You?
Take the Trickster Test at www.isleofdreams.net.

Surf's up, moon doggie!

:: posted by Rob 10:28 PM [+] :: 0 comments
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Polar bears are the fiercest killers in the animal kingdom

I have recently become aware of one of the greatest questions facing humanity as a whole: If you could turn into any three animals at will, which three animals would they be?

Truly a question for the ages. Herewith (and after great consideration) are my answers:

1. Wolf
A wolf is my first choice because...well, it's a wolf, and wolves are cool. Wolves are the ninja of the animal kingdom. Not because they have throwing stars, but because they ROCK. I'd turn into a big black one because those are the coolest wolves, among wolves at least.

2. Falcon
Falcon is my number two choice, for the whole flying thing + super keen eyesight. Flying would be cool. And that whole shutting down just by covering their head would do wonders for my sleep schedule.

3. Cheetah
Cheetahs are almost as cool as wolves. And they're fast. Have you seen those cats run? They do. Fast. If wolves are ninja, cheetahs are like Jedi, but without the lightsabers. Plus, it's been far too long since I've caught a gazelle by its throat and dragged it back to my tree. Trees are where cheetahs chill out when they're not running. And that's cool too.

So what three animals would you be?

:: posted by Rob 2:20 PM [+] :: 3 comments
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Days of light

The summer solstice has come and gone, which means that here in Sweden it will actually start getting dark at night, a little bit at a time. It truly is the Land of the Midnight Sun. Although Falun is a little south for true midnight sun, the sun doesn't really set until about 11 pm, with dusky twilight until about 1 am or so, a little bit of almost-darkness (though not enough for the stars to come out), before it starts getting light again around 2 am, with the sun finally rising somewhere around 3 or 3:30. It's actually quite crazy, but fun too.

Last night I went with some friends down to the nearby lake where we built a fire and roasted hot dogs and sausages, watched the sun set over the lake, just hanging out and talking until the fire finally burned itself out around 1:30 am. At which point we walked back home, and of course, it never got completely dark the whole time we were out there. It was nice sitting outside through the whole progression of it, though, and it's one of the things I really like about Sweden. Surprisingly, the extra light doesn't really seem to affect my sleep, but I chalk that up to my blinds and blackout shades. And of course, the flip side of it is that in winter you have even less light, from like 9 am to 3 pm or so. But even that's not too bad, and you always have the summer to look forward to.

Tomorrow is the official Swedish midsummer day, and I'm planning on heading to the town of Leksand on Lake Siljan with some friends to see the traditional festivities there like the raising of the maypole, folklore dances, etc. So Happy Midsummer to everyone, even if you reside in a place that doesn't celebrate old pagan festivals any more.

And just in case you're interested, I've added a few more blog links on the side. Just a few I've started to read recently - we'll see if they keep my interest in the long run. And last but not least, my Polka dot just started her own blog as well. Brush up on your bi-lingual Polish at Strawberry Fields!

:: posted by Rob 12:00 PM [+] :: 3 comments
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It's "Mordor." With a "D."

Here's your bit of funny for the day: Assault on Mordor.

Hehehehehe

:: posted by Rob 3:01 PM [+] :: 2 comments
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The Prodigal Son

At the risk of being derivative, I've just posted this nifty little thing from flickr (see above).

So anyhoo, I'm back and in full effect after almost a month of Euro-travel, first to see my Polka dot in Poland (including the sights of Lublin, Krakow, and Warsaw), then back to Sweden to meet my parents and drive around Sweden. It was the best of times, it was the worst of the times, but overall quite good. Didn't want to leave my sweetie, but my parents and their travel agenda helped take my mind off the pain, and coupled with daily SMSs back and forth, kept us sane until I returned to Falun where I could actually talk with her.

Meanwhile, the parents, with their Saab rent-a-car, enabled me to see parts of Sweden that I most likely would not be able to using only public transport, including a ferry trip to Tallinn, Estonia as well as a journey through Swedish Småland, including the quite-simply-amazing Kalmar Castle; a drive up the western shores of Lake Vättern, Sweden's second-largest lake; a visit to the parish church of Hakarp, whose ceilings are painted with scenes depicting demons torturing naked women in hell; and a stay in Västenås Slott, a 16th-century castle/country manor complete with real suits of armor in the lobby!

Like I said, overall quite an enjoyable trip, though the weather turned crappy and rainy for my parents' stay here in Falun. Ah well, one can't have everything I suppose. I'll try to post more info about my travels (and some pics) in the not-too-distant future, but for now there's this nagging little thing called a master's thesis that hasn't been touched in a month that's demanding my attention. Curses!

Swedish word of the day: slott, which means "castle"

:: posted by Rob 10:22 AM [+] :: 3 comments
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When it's time for leavin' I hope you'll understand

I'm off to Poland today to see my Polka dot for about two weeks, then it's back to Stockholm to meet up with the 'rents for their inaugural visit to the land of ice and snow. What does this mean for you? I'm glad you asked. It means I probably won't be updating for the next few weeks, at least, but it also means I'll have many stories and adventures to recount when I do return.

And never fear, I can still be contacted via email, smoke signals, and passenger pigeon, as usual.

So happy trails to you and yours (and me!) and I'll catch ya on the flip side!

Swedish words of the day: tåg, flygplan, och bil, which mean "train, plane, and automobile"

:: posted by Rob 11:39 AM [+] :: 1 comments
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Caught in the camera eye

Zamek Lubelskie 3
Posted by: ceruleaneyes.

Details of the facade of the Lublin Castle, in sepia.

After many months of procrastination, I have finally posted pictures from my trip to Poland in January on my photoblog. I've even posted a few of the more artistic ones on my deviantART page. So please click on the links, view the pictures at your leisure, and enjoy. Feel free to leave comments as well and let me know what you think.

Swedish words of the day: Polen and bild, which mean, respectively, "Poland" and "picture"

:: posted by Rob 5:46 AM [+] :: 0 comments
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You can't take the sky from me

It's finally here! The trailer for Serenity is up! (For those of you in the dark, Serenity is the upcoming movie based on what may be one of the best TV shows ever, Firefly.) It looks really cool and fantastically good...the only problem is we have to wait until September 30 to actually see it. O Cruel Fate, how thou dost mock me!

In related news, one can also see the trailers (there's three of 'em, plus assorted featurettes) for Kingdom of Heaven, which opens today. It also looks quite entertaining, if Ridley Scott sword-and-sandal epics are your kind of thing.

And lest we forget, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith comes out the week after next.

It's a time of movie joy.

And finally, a belated happy Cinco de Mayo (to those of you in Mexico) and happy Ascension Day (to those in Sweden and the rest of Western Christendom) to all of you and yours, while today we remember the Battle of Chancellorsville (for those of you in the Confederacy South), the Hindenburg disaster (for those of you in New Jersey), and the opening of the Chunnel (for those of you in England and France). Whew! Quite a pair of anniversary days!

Remember, Serenity! Woo-hoo!

Swedish words of the day: stillhet and eldfluga, which mean, respectively, "serenity" and "firefly"

:: posted by Rob 11:30 AM [+] :: 0 comments
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Are you a teacher of the heart? Yes, but not for thee

Victoria 05
Posted by: ceruleaneyes.

Crown Princess Victoria at the Falun copper mine.

Yesterday one of my dreams was fulfilled when H.K.H. Kronprinsessan Victoria (aka Her Royal Highness Crown Princess Victoria) of Sweden visited Falun to open the new Världsarvshuset at the Kopparberget copper mine. The copper mine is a UNESCO World Heritage site, and the Världsarvshuset is a new vistors' center for the mine. The mine is considered quite a big deal in Sweden, and especially here in Dalarna, as the mine at one time produced 3/4 of the world's supply of copper and enabled Sweden (for a short time, anyway) to become a Great Power on the European stage. Important enough that they sent the Crown Princess to officially open the new building, at least.

It began with her arrival in a horse-drawn carriage, greeted by people (including me) waving Swedish flags thoughtfully handed out for the occasion, and she passed within 10 feet of me as she rode by. We were then treated to speeches by Ingrid Dahlberg, landshövding or County Governor of Dalarna, and Bo Berggren, ordförande or Chairman of Stiftelsen Stora Kopparberget, the organization that runs the copper mine. We hoped that Victoria would give a speech as well, but she only received a key which she used to open the doors to the new Världsarvshuset and went inside, followed by various VIPs and members of the press for a private tour and presumably other official duties. Those of us peons left outside were entertained by the band Gränslöst and a mob of costumed peasants.

Then we waited around for Victoria to leave, unfortunately via motorcade rather than carriage this time. She hung around a few minutes, signing autographs and receiving flowers from children, before she finally departed, leaving nothing of her visit but her autograph on a stone inside the new Världsarvshuset.

More pictures of the princess's visit can be seen on my photoblog.

Now it's no secret that I came to Sweden to meet the princess, marry her, and settle into my new life as the future king of Sweden. And here I had the perfect opportunity to meet the woman of my dreams and dazzle her with my sexy American accent and irresistible slacker charm as a permanent thirty- twenty-something student. Sadly, however, she breezed in and out in the span of about an hour, with but a glance in my direction and nary a word spoken to me, leaving me standing alone and still not royal. Cruel fate, you say? Not at all, because fortunately I have already met my very own Polka dot in Falun, the Princess Marpi, who is more beautiful, more fun, and much more accepting of my aforementioned American sexiness and slacker charm than Victoria would be, and possessed of no small amount of Polish sexiness and charm herself. A choice well made, methinks.



Swedish word of the day: kronprinsessa, which means "crown princess"
Polish word of the day: księżniczka, which means "princess"

:: posted by Rob 2:43 AM [+] :: 1 comments
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Valborgmässoafton

Last night was Valborgmässoafton, otherwise known as Walpurgis Night, that old pagan throwback holiday when people sing and light bonfires to scare away witches and evil spririts going to visit the Devil. It also coincides with annual student festivities celebrating the beginning of Spring and the completion of studies at gymnasium. And finally, it is a night for drinking and revelry, as May 1 is May Day, the beginning of Spring and a national holiday, so people can drink and stay out late without having to worry about going to work in the morning. (Not so much a big deal this year, as today is Sunday, but try telling that to the Swedes.)

I went to the copper mine in Falun for the local festivities with my German friends Stefan & Christiane, and Christiane's mother and aunt, and we were joined by Klaas from Belgium, Ram from Uzbekistan, and Ania and Basia from Poland. It seemed like everyone in Falun was there, and it began with a procession of torches to a stage where a men's choir sang what I assume were traditional songs. They wore the traditional Swedish white "sailor's cap" that new graduates wear, although these guys looked like they graduated about 50 years ago. Then a woman sang accompanied by a guy with a guitar, which was quite beautiful. And then, it was time for the bonfire!



Accompanying the bonfire was a fireworks display, which was quite nice, and then we returned home. (Actually, fireworks had accompanied the entire festivities, set off by celebratory Swedes, but these were bigger and technically more professional.) The way home (as well as the way to the copper mine earlier) was like a war zone, as we passed wandering gangs of young Swedes with bags full of fireworks, shooting them off anywhere and everywhere they could, and generally making noise and having fun, lighting campfires down by the lakes, etc. This went on for most of the rest of the night. I felt like I as having flashbacks to the 'Nam. It was kind of like the 4th of July on crack, but in a good way.

I've posted some pics on my photoblog, so feel free to take a look. If you're interested in seeing more pictures and some short movies of the singing and bonfire, I've posted them here, although be warned that the movie files are quite large and that there are a lot of pictures of the fire. I like fire. Fire, fire, fire. And I had a digital camera, and kinda got carried away. So sue me.

So another Swedish holiday has passed, and maybe now we'll finally see some signs of Spring. Yesterday it turned cold & rainy, but it's been (relatively) warm lately, although there still hasn't been any budding trees or flowers or green of any kind. Just annoying seagulls nesting on the roofs and generally making a nuisance of themselves - clearly they think Spring is here.

So Happy May Day everyone! May your Spring be green and full of life and happiness.

Swedish words of the day: Valborgmässoafton, see above, and brasa or bål, which mean "bonfire"

:: posted by Rob 12:02 PM [+] :: 0 comments
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Thinking one thought only...Where is she...Tell me where

Today my Polka dot (previously referred to in these pages as my flickvän, which means my girlfriend, for those of you who are still confused) went back home to Polska (aka Poland). And now that she's gone I realize just how much I miss her, even after only one day. We had to get up at 3:30 this morning so she could catch the 5:00 AM train to Stockholm, and then I had the long walk back to Britsen by myself. I slept when I got back, but have pretty much spent the day doing a whole lotta nothing. There's a piece missing, so my whole day's been kinda weird...

On the plus side, we've sent a few SMS's back and forth today, and I know she got safely to Poland and Krakow, so that's good. And it's only for a few weeks - I'm heading to Poland in the middle of May to see her and her family as well attend my first Polish wedding(!) Then it'll be a quick turnaround back to Sweden, to meet my parents when they come to visit (all of which assumes they'll have made some kind of plan - as of yet, they still don't even know how long they're going to stay!). But it will be good to see my parents, and my Polka dot, and hopefully she'll be able to come back to Sweden to spend Misdummer with me.

And of course, I still have my thesis to write, as always, but I think it's going to take me a little while to get started on it again - I have other things on my mind.

Kocham cię octopus... :)

Swedish word of the day: älskling, which means "love, darling, dearest," etc.

:: posted by Rob 11:20 PM [+] :: 3 comments
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And I rehearse in my room, or what I call the Dragon's Tomb, when I lie there with my girlfriend

Today I introduced my flickvän to the wide, wonderful world of roleplaying games, in this case, good ol' D&D. Last week we made up a character for her using the 3.5 edition rules. Now I'm a strict 3rd edition man myself (always have been, always will be), but as all my books are an ocean away, and the 3.5 SRD is available online, that's what we went with. Fortunately I had the foresight to bring one set of very tiny dice with me to Sweden, so we had to share, but it wasn't too bad. (Note to self: buy D&D dice for her next birthday present...) I also had a nifty little introductory adventure called A Dark and Stormy Knight that I also downloaded, and we were ready for a Saturday afternoon of fun.

Herein lies a short recap of her adventures:
The flickvän had her character all ready to go: Charmaine, the halfling rogue. She was suited up like all of that ilk: leather armor, short sword, a handful of daggers, a sling, and of course, thieves' tools. Charmaine was traveling through the local wilderness when a sudden and violent storm came upon her, so she sought shelter in the lee of a nearby rocky tor, whereupon she discovered a doorway leading into the hill's interior.

Inside, she met a few fellow travelers also seeking shlelter from the storm: Amaryllis Thorngage, halfling druid, and her wolf companion Shiralla, Elec Mournbringer, elven monk, and Gunilla, the half-orc barbarian/sorceress. Agreeing on a truce for the duration of the storm and the night, the four settled down to camp, when a huge peal of thunder and accompanying bolt of lightning not only destroyed three doors leading deeper into the tor, but frightened a horde of angry rats that rushed into the room!

Charmaine met them head on, and in her very first attack of her very first combat, scored a critical hit on the lead rat, killing it instantly! Quite an auspicious start to an adventuring career (although the other rats were slightly harder to defeat). With three gaping portals now presenting the way to untold adventure and riches (and the only other alternative being Gunilla's fresh rat stew), the four storm-tossed adventurers teamed to explore their surroundings.

The party found a vargouille hiding in a sarcophagus, and though Charmaine was paralyzed with fear from the vargouille's shriek, the rest of the party was able to dispatch the beast without much trouble. Coming upon a stone chest in a room soon after, Charmaine proved herself quite the rogue when she not only found, but also successfully disarmed her first trap, yielding the adventurers a tidy sum of treasure. A couple of hobgoblins, also seeking shelter from the storm, likewise proved no match for the four heroes.

Deeper into the tor, however, they came upon a burial room, for the tor was also a tomb for the Dark Knight, an undead bugbear zombie that rose to defend its tomb from its would-be robbers. Skipping nimbly to the side, Charmaine pelted him with daggers, while Gunilla attacked with her spiked chain and Elec with his fists of fury. Amaryllis cast a spell, while Shiralla the wolf leapt into the fray. Unfortunately, Elec found that his fists had little effect on their undead foe, and Shiralla succumbed to the monster's attacks soon after . Gunilla entered into a barbarian rage to drive the monstrosity back into its grave, but not before Elec fell when he failed to disarm the creature. As Amaryllis rushed to attend to Elec and Shiralla, Charmaine realized she had to do something. Drawing her short sword, she headed into battle.

It was a hard fight, but finally the Dark Knight was defeated. Amaryllis was able to heal Elec, and was even able to stabilize Shiralla before the noble animal died. But that was not the end of the story.

While the others nursed their wounds and searched the room for treasure, Charmaine headed off to explore a small corridor they had passed earlier. Unfortunately for her, it led to lair of a monstrous spider, and before she knew it, Charmaine was entangled in one of its webs. Screaming for help as the spider tried to make her its next meal, Charmaine struggled to escape the clinging webs. She was successful, but not before the spider's poison began coursing through her system, weakening her strength. Fortunately, the others heard her cries, and Gunilla, Elec, and Amaryllis ran to her rescue and killed the horrid arachnid.

Wounded, exhausted, and poisoned, the four heroes had defeated the tomb's last denizen, and so retreated to the front room to camp and rest. The next morning, Amaryllis's healing magic restored their health and they divided up their spoils, which included a few items of magic!

Thus ends the tale of the first adventure of Charmaine, the halfling rogue. What will happen next? Will Charmaine, Amaryllis, Elec, and Gunilla join forces for greater adventure? Who knows? But the flickvän assures me she had fun, and she's already half-way to second level, so she may feel the urge to head out into the unknown again.

As for me, I enjoyed myself as well (although I did miss all my books and dice and miniatures), and was very happy that my flickvän not only wanted to try this strange little hobby of mine, but actually enjoyed herself as well. I guess I should have known that she was a thief at heart.. ;)

Swedish word of the day: drakguld, which means "dragon's gold"

:: posted by Rob 8:11 PM [+] :: 1 comments
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Alternating currents...Force a show of hands

I was supposed to go to Uppsala today, but the best laid plans of mice and men, and all that. Instead, I will entertain you with something a friend of mine here came up with regarding student life here in Sweden. So without further ado, I give you:

The Top 26 Ways of Knowing You Are an Exchange Student in Falun
1. You can bike drunk better than you can bike sober.
2. Your definition of getting up early is waking up between 12 and 13.
3. You eat vegetables once a month.
4. You are used to going to Kåren and knowing over 200 people.
5. You've stopped going to ICA because it opens too early.
6. You have a class once a week.
7. You have enough time to make lists like this.
8. You have enough time to read lists like this.
9. You get excited when LIDL puts bananas on sale.
10. You get excited when a Swede initiates a conversation
11. You try to impress the opposite sex with your second-hand bike.
12. You don't mind paying five crowns a minute to talk to a friend in the next building.
13. You've dropped the Swedish course.
14. You hear the same songs on the radio as you did when you arrived four months ago.
15. You travel to a different country in order to buy cheaper alcohol.
16. A 500-crown bill has not lasted in your wallet longer than two days.
17. You have no Swedish friends.
18. Your definition of a really nice bike: costs more than 300 crowns, wheels thicker than 3 centimeters, both brakes work, has more than two speeds, and is a different color than rust.
19. On Fridays, you say "yes" even before people ask if you are going to Kåren.
20. You spend entirely too much money to get drunk at Kåren.
21. You're enjoying Kåren after getting drunk.
22. After spending months in Falun the only Swedish you ever use is "Hej" and "Tack".
23. You don't care about how clean your kitchen is anymore.
24. You just can't remember when you had your last two-course meal.
25. It's impossible for you to go to the LIDL and buy JUST MILK.
26. (If you're Spanish) You think a "siesta" is something great you're not able to do in Sweden.

But wait, there's more. We also have:

The Top 18 Ways of Knowing You Are a Swedish Student in Falun
1. You don't have any international friends.
2. You actually don't have that many friends at all.
3. You like to wear shiny white running shoes under a classy black dress.
4. You like it better to walk with a bike than really bike on it.
5. Except in commercials, you have no sense of humor.
6. You claim to live in a hard working country...
7. ...But you don't.
8. You will never question a rule and always make sure it is carried out with the utmost precision and certainly no flexibility.
9. The level of your university courses is a joke.
10. You feel lonely when you don't have your mobile phone with you.
11. You think that when you show your emotions you risk the death penalty.
12. When you are drunk, you are allowed to show emotions and to be a total bastard.
13. You only go out if you are good-looking.
14. If you don't stand in line for at least half an hour a day you start shaking and feeling sick.
15. It's impossible for you when you are drunk to understand the sentence "Sorry, I don't speak Swedish."
16. Your clothes and the music you listen to are the same as in the 80's.
17. Your favorite way of ending a conversation is walking away.
18.YOU CAN EAT KETCHUP WITH EVERY SINGLE DAMNED KIND OF FOOD!!

Maybe this isn't very funny (or doesn't make much sense) to those of you out there, but it's funny (and true!) to those of us here, so there it is. A little slice of Swedish student life. Enjoy.

Swedish word of the day: utbytesstudent, which means "exchange student"

:: posted by Rob 5:45 PM [+] :: 1 comments
...

Ride all the way to where the lizards play

A British company called Intelligent Energy has unveiled the world's first purpose-built, fuel-cell motorbike called the ENV (pronounced "envy"), or Emissions Neutral Vehicle. It's got speeds of up to 50 mph, can run up to 4 hours on a full tank, and is made of hollow-cast aircraft grade aluminium in either black supergloss or iridescent white. Its water emissions are so clean as to be drinkable, and more amazingly, it's no more noisy than a desktop computer! Keep in mind, though, that it's designed as a motorbike, not a motorcycle.

"It feels when you ride it to be more like a cycle than a motorbike in the smooth nature of the vehicles motion, because its a bit like skiing on wheels, I characterize it as. And of course, 50 mph on something that's equivalent to a bicycle feels very fast. It's not the fastest thing on two wheels. It's not intended to be. It does naught to fifty in about 12 seconds, but remember, it doesn't have any gears. It does have the ability to free-wheel. So, it has a number of unusual characteristics, which means that it's very easy to use. It just has a simply throttle; and remember the benefit of a fuel cell is that it delivers power instantly. You get a 100 percent torque at zero revs".

The CORE fuel cell is completely detachable, and is designed so that "people will be able to use a bike like ENV to leave work in an urban environment, drive to the countryside, detach the CORE and attach it to another vehicle, such as a motorboat, before going on to power a log cabin with the very same fuel cell, which could then be re-charged from a mini hydrogen creator, the size of a shoebox."

The 1kW CORE is equivalent to a 125cc gasoline engine, and is supplemented by additional 6kW batteries for acceleration. They are recharged by the fuel cell.

Though there are currently only 2 prototypes, if it were to go into production, it would currently cost around $30,000. If the company began producing them in volume, the price range would drop to between $6,000 and $9,500. The possibilities are already being imagined, such as replacing the noissy, polluting motorbikes and scooters in Asian cities. Remembering my trip to Saigon (aka Ho Chi Minh City), the introduction of such a motorbike would be a huge change.

I'm gonna start saving for one now. Hey, it's no flying car, but it's still pretty damn cool.

A short article on the bike can be found here.

A more detailed article, with more on the CORE fuel cell and lots of cool pictures can be found here.

Swedish word of the day: framtid, which means "future"

:: posted by Rob 10:28 AM [+] :: 2 comments
...

Take me back to old Virginny

As a former Virginian, and to all my friends and family who were, or unfortunately, still are, Virginians, I present:

You Know You're From Virginia When...

Speed limits are just suggestions You have at least two friends who have no idea what their relatives do...because its "top secret" government work Most of your senior class wend to Mason, JMU, Tech, VCU or UVA When people ask where you're from, you tell them DC because its easier to explain You've never told someone you're from Virginia without putting "northern," "central," or "southern" in front of it (See above.) It's not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you. You know yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through. (Yeah, man...at least. Probably also happens everywhere else.) A red light means 2 more can. You actually know what the black boxes at stoplights are for. Despite the fact that Virginia fought for the south in the Civil War, you are not, under any circumstances, a "southerner" You are amused by visiting relatives who are actually excited to see Washington, DC You took a field trip to Williamsburg as a kid You are amazed when you go out of town and the people at McDonalds speak English You or someone in your family has a Smart Tag An inch of snow and you miss 3 days of school All the potholes just add a little excitement to your driving experience Crown Victoria = undercover cop Subway is a fast food place. The transportation system is known as Metro, and only Metro. They just tore down the old farm house across the street and put 12 new McMansions in its place For the cost of your house, you could own a small town in Iowa If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have three new names. You have to dial the area code to call your neighbor "Vacation" means spending a day at King's Dominion or Busch Gardens. "Going to the River" means any stream with water. You have never been served tea without the waitress asking "sweet or unsweetened?" Your favorite past time is telling West Virginia jokes. Anyone who can't trace his or her ancestry back to at least four generations in Virginia is an outsider. "Going to the beach" means anywhere from Ocean City to Virginia Beach to Myrtle Beach. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Virginia.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here

Ahh, it's funny (and sad) because it's true...

Swedish word of the day: sanning, which means "truth"

:: posted by Rob 10:13 AM [+] :: 4 comments
...

I want to come over and roll in your clover and kiss your blarney stone

I have recently discovered the identity of my Inner European:

Your Inner European is Irish!

Sprited and boisterous! You drink everyone under the table.

Who's Your Inner European?

Which is strange, considering I'm living in Sweden and planning on moving to either the Czech Republic or Poland. Even stranger is the fact that my flickvän is an inner Irish too. Perhaps this is a sign that we should head for the emerald shores of Eire instead...?

Swedish word of the day: irländsk, which means "Irish"

:: posted by Rob 5:53 PM [+] :: 0 comments
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Rest in Peace

I just got the news that Pope John Paul II has died, and although I'm not Catholic, nor even religious for that matter, I find myself experiencing feelings that don't seem to have a logical basis behind them. I'm feeling sad right now, but even that doesn't really reflect what I'm really feeling. I don't even know what I'm feeling. Ever since I can remember, I've heard about the Pope, and there's always been something comforting, even to me, to see him in the news, giving his traditional Easter message, visiting other countries, and just being there, almost looking out for all of us, Catholic or Protestant, believer or not.

I've always respected him and his message. I haven't always agreed with everything he said, especially with his more conservative views, but I understood where he was coming from, and looked up to him as a great leader, thinker, and person dedicated to helping the world in the way he was best suited. More recently, as I've learned more about Poland and her people, I've come to respect him even more and the place he holds in the hearts of the Polish people.

I think his time on this Earth, and as Pope, has done a lot for the betterment of mankind, and I think the world has lost a great figure whose position may never be filled. I think his absence will affect us all.

But I also think he has shown us how to face our ends with hope and dignity, and though I am sad, I also think, perhaps for the first time, that he will truly go to a better place. And that offers me some comfort.

I've written this to try to express what I'm feeling right now, and to help myself try to understand those feelings. But it's hard, and I don't quite know what to say, or if this is just some ramble that doesn't make any sense. But I think it's better to try to put this down here so I can remember it and think more about it.

I'll just end with these words:

The church is Catholic, universal, so are all her actions; all that she does belongs to all....And when she buries a man, that action concerns me: all mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language....
No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee.
John Donne, Devotions XVII

Rest in peace, Karol Wojtyła. God bless you.

:: posted by Rob 11:18 PM [+] :: 1 comments
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Dedicated Follower of Fashion

Thanks to my good friend known (mysteriously) as Tacitus, not only have I updated my blog twice in one day, Alas, Babylon! also has a spiffy new header (see it? it's right up there at the top. Says Alas, Babylon on it...has a little picture of the Ishtar Gate...I'm pointing right at it...>

So a new year, a new look, and dare I say it, a new sense of style? Maybe not, but then again, maybe so...

Thanks for the header, Tom. It's hella-cool! :)

Oh, happy belated Easter to everyone, and happy Daylight Savings Time as well!

Swedish words of the day: Påskafton, Påskdagen, and Annandag påsk, which mean, respectively, "Easter Eve," "Easter Day," and "Another Day of Easter," (aka Easter Monday)

:: posted by Rob 11:59 AM [+] :: 1 comments
...